can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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