please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize