make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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