Where did you get a picture of my penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
