my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
