Me too!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
