You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
