shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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