He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
