she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
