I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
