Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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