you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
