please come you make the beer taste better
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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