Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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