Don't make out with my wife yet
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
