Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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