LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
