bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
