Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
