scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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