the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
COCAINE IS GR8
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
