Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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