At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
