I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
