its not stalking. its research.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
