I accidentally had phone sex last night
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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