Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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