You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
