btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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