apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i think i just lost a toe
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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