Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize