I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
