I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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