Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
