Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
