I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
