Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
