Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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