To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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