Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize