You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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