I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
