Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
