i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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