VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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