apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
