I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
