sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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