OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
