woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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