Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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