seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
