i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
