You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
