Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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