My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My balls are so social today.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
