they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
