Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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