Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize