Kiss
Puke
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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