That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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