I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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