We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
