Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I would ride that face into the sunset
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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