No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
